I Never Knew I Had a Choice [Chapter 4]

In last night dream Mikhael explained me that my well being was united to my fidelity to God’s new albor, to God’s living alliance. I will keep growing as long as I choose to be a light, as long as I keep choosing to remain loyal to His mandatum novum. That is well being: to keep growing until becoming the best person you can be, the saint, fulfilled and joyful people we are called to be.

So, lets begin with chapter 4.

“Do you take care of the physical you?” I am not allowed to take care of the physical me. Really, I am not. I only can bathe once per week. Here you can see a note that my progenitors left today, telling me that in a Saturday they want me to take a pill at 6:30 am, which I said no, because I need to pray before meds, but the fact is that I can’t sleep longer due needing to wake up early to not cross with them in the kitchen… and that also happens on Sunday. What my body needs is of no interest here: I am a slave, forced to take pills daily, simply for their pleasure of “enjoying power” through abuse, abuse that had been allowed by the authorities during years.

Here is what I answered, without knowing that this chapter would talk about the importance of sleeping

This is the most recent example of how being here makes me literally impossible to take care of my body. My body is obese, with fungus, with drooling, sometimes with nausea, dizzy, with vertigo, gassed with toxic gasses constantly… this will be a hard chapter to shallow, because if you reduce wellness to physical care… well, I am not allowed to have physical care. They even play with my soaps.

“Wellness: learning to accept responsability for our health” Are you kidding in this one? No, I don’t have ANY responsability for my health. And I mean it. I don’t even have air to breathe, water to drink , kitchen to eat, a bathroom to get a bath daily… that without mentioning the social exploitation in the doctors where I go. I stopped goig to medical appointments that are not forced. Its worthless. I have no control over my health nor over my body. I am constanly needing to pee and poo, besides having drooling, due the toxic gases in this house of torture.

“Rest and sleep, excercise, diet and nutrition, and spirituality are all aspects of well being”. Thank you for including spirituality. All the mental health services I have received deny spirituality as essential wellness aspect.

“Wellness is an active process consisting of concious choices we make in fashioning a healthy lifestyle”. So, if you don’t have the luxury of healthy choices, you don’t have wellness, right? If I am not given the space and the personal dignity to make the right choices, I am restraint of having wellness, it is denied to me? Just asking.

“Wellness is a lifestyle choice rather than one-time decision”. Agree. The same happens with “dietsl: they don’t work if they are not a lifestyle change.

“Wellness entails a lifelong process of taking care of our needs on all levels of functioning”. People, understand this: I am not ALLOWED to take care of my needs. I can’t have needs, or if I do have them, they mayor not be grantedto be fulfilled. But I can’t rake care of them by myself, and this applies in many levels of my life. I am not allowed to need clothes, they will steal and mutilate them. I am not allowed to have a bathroom according to my needs and style. I am not allowed to have a room with non-toxic air to breathe. I am not allowed needing a doctor to treat things they cause on purpose to cause dissability and suffering. I am not allowed to need money for the dogs’s simparica trio (they literally don’t mind the bed being filled with tics), they won’t pay it, but they will pay the operation for the cancerous mass they caused on the dog with toxic gassing… And I could keep mentioning ten thousand examples of needs I am not even ALLOWED to take care.

“Many of us know what to do, yet we do not accept the personal responsability that is required to be well. Some of us deny our part in our level of wellness. We may think of getting sick a something that is always beyong our control”. Well, yes, people, in my case, getting sick is always beyond my control. Even my thyroid issue is related with toxic gassing. You don’t know how social slavery work. They DO control all the medical aspects of your life, from the air you breathe to the food you are allowed to buy with the money they give you. They have caused me tachycardia, diarrea, increase in peeing, nausea, vomiting, vertigo, chest pain, headache, unconciousness, sleepiness, hipoxia (low blood oxigenation), nose bleeding, runny nose, pale gums, dilated pupils, tics, hair thinning and falling, fungus, rash, obesity, changes in my blood sugar tests, changes in other labs tests like thyroid, changes in my menstrual periods, hot flashes, turning me literally voiceless, cough with stertor… and I can keep mentioning. The do want to get me sick and they do get me sick, sometimes with toxic gassing, sometimes with fungus, sometimes with bacteria, sometimes even faking a whole psychiatric diagnosis like they did with the schizophrenia to make me unable to care for myself and to defend me legally (I am not believed in courts due them putting me forced hospitalization judge orders). So… in my case, getting sick is literally out of my control. As a matter of fact, they are causing me drooling right now. 🙃 It is curious, because the medicine that truly best worked for me, Adderall, was banned due “causing episodes of schizophrenia”. So, this is not only a matter of not being able to avoid getting sick: I can’t get the medicines I do truly need neither.

“Physicians report that it is not uncommon for patients to be more interested in getting pills and in removing their symptoms than vhanging a stressful lifestyle” You know, my experience with mental health providers had been all the opposite. Psychiatrists dont care your lifestyle (or what my progenitors to control it) they force the pills, no questions asked about lifestyle or feelings. You are not a person. You don’t have feelings. You are simply injected medication by force, the same way a cow is injected antibiotics, no questions asked, no rights of any kind whatsoever.

“Sleep is a fundamental aspect of being healthy”. Well, my progenitors are constantly telling me “don’t be healthy” because they LOVE to deprive me sleeping. They LOVE it. Usually they do it by causing me to go pee during the night, but they have several ways to deprive me sleeping. They have forced me to vomit in the middle of the night, and I have needed to clean the vomit, what takes even more time than needing to go outside to simply breathe, stop vomiting and not asphixiate yourself with your own vomit. I have also woken up in the middle of the night with tachycardia (high heart rate, over 200). That without mention using the false sounds of cat to make the dogs bark, or the neighbours putting very loud music to wake you up. They have PLENTY of choices to deprive me from sleep, and they do love it, because it is what affects more my functioning.

“A sedentary lifestyle is a hazard to health, for it increases all causes of mortality”. i love walking, but I have barely space to walk. If I go outside the room to walk, I will find stuff left by the progenitors for social exploitation/narcissistic abuse. If I go outside the house to walk I will be exposed to the conversations or smoking odors of my neighbour. So, I don’t have chains, but technically, I am not free to even go and get a walk. I loved to jump the rope and to use weights… the progenitors also used that as social exploitation/narcissistic abuse.

“Your daily diet affects your long-term health more than any other factor within your control”. You definitely don’t know what is being without food. Lack of food is not something that affects you long-term: its short term. When you don’t have food to eat, you are in stomach pain and you can’t barely function. Hunger is painful.

“Diet is one of the lifestyle factors over which we have a large degree of control”. I can go to Costco or Finca Pastoreo and buy whatever fits the space of the fridge and freezer… knowing that at any moment they can cause an electrical failure and I will loose all my meats and cold foods. They have actually done it, and more than once. That besides the factor that they do play with my food and have cause fungus to my food. So… nope, I have no control over my diet.

“Spiritually healthy individuals identify their own basic purpose in life; learn how to experience love, joy, peace, and fulfillment; and help themselves and others achieve their full potential”. True. Absolutely true.

“From our perspective, having a guiding personal philosophy is the core of wellness. Fiding meaning and purpose in your life is a never-ending spiritual process”. Agree

“Yet pur body can be eloquent in its expression of who we are. Much of our life history is revealed through our bodies”. I do highly respect my body as a temple of the Holy Spirit, I do truly believe I should care my body, but I am not allowed to take care of myself or my body. As a matter of fact, I am forced to endure torture and toxic gassing, and eat microwable food everyday.

“Dance is a popular way to teach people to “own” all parts of their bodies and to express themselves more harmoniously”. Even Jesus Charity agreed with that in its due moment. Dancing with someone is also a way to respect and be harmonious and “one” with his/her body.

“Touching is important for developing in healthy ways physically, psychologically, socially and intellectually”. Except for the ocasional hug of a student, my usual only physical touch are dogs. My progenitors had never been “touchers”: I didn’t received hugs as I grew up. I will forever miss heart to heart hugs with Jesus Charity. The deppth of those hugs is something I truly miss.

“Wellness means different things to different people. When you think of wellness, what aspects of your life do you most think of? Look at what you are doing to mantain a general state of wellness. How much of a priority do you place on wellness?” Well, you can see in the first paragraph of this text that wellness for me is mainly spiritual. I am not allowed any other kind of wellness, and that is because spiritual wellness is given by God in this case. My progenitors do have tried to destroy spiritual wellness, but that is one of the things they haven’t been able to destroy.

Because I have no choices granted (nor “willing to work” options) in my sleeping patterns, excercise patterns or eating patterns, I can’t answer more questions of the “Where Can I Go From Here?” section.

This is all for today. I can’t get out to brush my teeth because I am suposed to be sleeping and the progenitors are around. Yes, sometimes it happen. Let’s keep choosing to be a light! 🙃

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