An Integractive Vision

Today I will write about a personal choice that influences my teaching style: the choice of contemplating reality through an integractive vision.

We all see and build reality through a concrete vision. No one can avoid that. It is very important to be conscious of how we see and construct reality, especially if you are a teacher, because teachers help their students to realize their own vision. What are my principles for building my vision of reality? How accurate is my reality perception? How integractively coherent is my reality? What is the point of view of my reality? These are all very important questions that usually are not assumed consciously. Let’s answer each one of those questions.

What are my principles for building my vision of reality? I have a very concrete foundation for building my vision of reality: integraction, or personal formation’s growth. That’s why I call my vision an “integractive vision”: the foundation of my vision of reality are the human growth processes, or how the person grows, humanely and ecclesially, until becoming who is meant to be. In everything I see I ask myself how this or that helps people’s personal growth, how it informs, conform, transform and reform the whole personal formation, how it helps the person to be the best person he or she can be. With “integraction” I do not mean my own personal formation’s growth, but personal formation’s growth according to truth.

How accurate is my reality perception? With “accurate” I mean “non-ideological”. I will explain what I mean with “non-ideological”.

Usually our reality’s vision is perceived as “liberal” (left direction) or “conservative” (right direction).  In integraction, the left and right directions (emanations) of the integractor are interpreted in a very different way: one direction is meant to be actuality and the other direction is meant to be potentiality. This is a very different notion of “right” and “left”: it is not an “ideological perception” but an “integractive perception.” The direction of the integractive perception depends on the actuality and potentiality of personal formation’s growth, not upon “conservative directions” or “liberal directions. This can be very hard to understand to people that are used to perceive everything as “conservative” or “liberal.” Having an integractive perception of reality means that it is perfectly possible to affirm both “conservative directions” and “liberal directions”, because it all depends on what helps the whole person to be, to do, to grow and to radiate until becoming the best person he or she could be. There are some “liberal directions” that inform, can conform, transform and reform all the personal formation’s growth, like defending the poor and standing for immigrants and refugees. At the same time, there are some “conservative directions” that also can inform, conform, transform and reform all the personal formation’s growth, like defending the life of the unborn, defending religious freedom and defending a strong economy. There are “liberal directions” that are against the integraction, actual or potential, of the whole personal formation of everyone, like promotion abortion, and there are “conservative directions” that also are against the integraction, actual or potential, of the whole personal formation of everyone, like promoting the use of guns. The integractive perception relies on whatever helps the person, potentially or actually, to be, to do, to grow and to radiate as the best person he or she can become, no matter if it may come from the “conservative direction” or from the “liberal direction”. From the integractive perspective, the conservative and liberal issue really doesn’t matter at all: both can be right sometimes, and both can be wrong sometimes. What’s right is right no matter which ideology proposes it; what’s wrong is wrong no matter which ideology proposes it. What matters in the integractive perception is the actuality and the potentiality of integraction, of the personal formation’s growth processes. Whatever breaks or hurts any of those processes is wrong, not matter if it comes from the conservative side or from the liberal side.

One particular detail on this conservative and liberal issue: it is usually understood that the “creative” side are liberals and the “traditional” side are conservatives. I am both highly creative and highly traditional (yes, you can be both at the same time), but I do not define myself as liberal or conservative, but as integractive. It always surprises me when people can’t conceive another perception beyond “liberal” and “conservative”. I really don’t understand why being creative and being traditional should be perceived as opposed to each other, as some insist to promote. Let me be clear: there is absolutely nothing wrong in being conservative or being liberal, I am no one to judge anyone. However, there is absolutely nothing wrong in not perceiving reality with a “liberal direction” or a “conservative direction” neither. The constant war between conservatives and liberals, even inside the Church, is a waste of time and cognitive energy for me. I pass of having an oppositional perception, I choose to have an affirmative perception. I prefer to invest my cognitive energies and my time in affirming the best personal formation’s growth possible, potential an actual, for everyone. As you may guess, due this I have been seen as an “opposition” by both conservatives and liberals. My intention is not opposing anyone, I really don’t need to oppose anyone. I only need to oppose to whatever hurts or breaks personal formation’s growth processes, whatever hurt or breaks human dignity. I merge “pro-choice” and “pro-life” in a single expression: “pro-growth.” I am “pro-choice” in the sense that I affirm that everyone is entitled, just for being human being, to the choice of grow, including the unborn. I am “pro-life” in the sense that I affirm that everyone is entitled to a life of growth. For me, both “pro-choice” and “pro-life” can mean “pro-growth.”

What is the difference between an ideology and an integraction? Ideology is based in a system of personal values. Integraction is based in a system of personal formation. The personal formation includes values, but it doesn’t force a certain set of values, as ideologies does. An ideological perception models the personal formation processes according to values. An integractive perception models the values according to the personal formation processes. This is what I mean with “integractive perception”, in its both directions, actuality and potentiality. For concluding this I am departing from both ecclesial and human integration: spiritual/organic-intellectual-social discernment (contemplation/observation-ponderation-interaction). Answering how “accurate” the reality perception requires to integrate all of those kinds of discernment. How integractively coherent is my reality? This refers to how integration, action, realization and projection are in harmony between them, forming a whole unity, and also refers to the universality of the growth’s affirmation. For example: if I affirm the best growth possible for everyone, the same applies to the unborn and to those who identify themselves as LGBT, and the same applies in my action, in my realization in my projection, it is not only an “intellectual idea”, a “social construct” or an “organic image”. If you are integractively coherent, the affirmation of the best personal formation possible for everyone must be equally consistent in all the personal formation growth processes: in the integration, in the action, in the realization and in the projection. If you are integractively coherent, you can’t act affirming the best personal formation of everyone but not project yourself affirming the same. For example: you can’t act promoting the best growth possible for everyone and project yourself with an abortion or not respecting those who identify themselves a LGBT people. Something is wrong in the integractive coherence if that happens.

What is the point of view of my reality? The best growth possible of everyone, not only mine. Is not merely and “I” point of view: it is the point of view of the “I” and the “we” in communion. No matter how “alone” someone could think he or she is, I write “alone” that way because I believe that if we grow we are necessarily growing in communion, with God and with the other, as brothers and sisters of the same human family. Human being is that way, only grows in communion. That’s the point of view: communion, “personal giftedness” (the self-giving to others as a gift), both humanely (human fraternity, helping to be, to do, to grow and to radiate as the best person we can be, becoming living signs of humanity) and ecclesially (sacramental fraternity, helping to be, to do, to grow and to radiate as incarnated sacraments, becoming living signs of God’s Love).

There is a very important issue about reality that must be considered consciously too: no human being can control reality, only God can. No matter how much information about a person’s life we may have, even if we manage to access very sensible information about his or her most intimate spiritual conscience, only God can control his or her reality. Many ideological influences may seem to try to control reality through several methods (for example: through control of conscience, or through control of information), but at the very end, only God can control it, and He always amazes everyone with His Love’s surprises. God’s Love, being loved by God, is human being’s most evident reality: everything else is radiated from that Love. There is no brighter clarity in reality than contemplating how we are loved by God and there is no deeper mystery in reality than confessing that God is Love, so our humanity is created by Love, for Love and with Love.

All this means that progress, for me, is not an ideological progress, the progress of propagation of some values. Progress is the unconditional promotion of the best personal growth possible for everyone, no matter in which developmental stage the person is and no matter the sexual diversity, the political diversity, the functional diversity, the gender diversity… Progress is learning to recognize ourselves as growing persons with equal dignity, with all the consequences that this implies. We are very far away of accomplishing the best growth possible for everyone. We are very far away of achieving a better understanding, recognition and promotion of all the personal formation’s processes in every person. We still rely the worth of the person in ideological values, instead of valuing ideologues according to the worth of the person. Humanity needs true progress and true tradition: humanity need the best personal growth possible for everyone, not only to those who seem convenient according to a certain ideology. We need to learn how to embrace our whole personal formation and help each other to become the best person we can become just because we recognize each other as human family, not because someone stands my own ideological values, so it is convenient to me to helping him or her to grow. Not recognizing every human being as a person unconditionally worthy of growth, denying the personal formation’s growth of some human beings, is the biggest injustice of our times.

How all these details about my integractive vision influence my teaching style? Well, first of all, for me teaching is a radiation of Love. Actually, the whole personal formation’s growth is a radiation of Love that creates communion, family and community. No matter what, the student must know that he or she is unconditionally loved in every growth stage, including when he or she commits a mistake. Although I never had the need to talk about God’s Love in any of my English classes (no religious theme has been discussed in any of my English classes), I try and pray for the grace of letting each student know through my English lessons how unconditionally loved he or she is, in the same way God let me know how unconditionally loved I am and I will always be, no matter how dire or hurtful the circumstances could be. That is my way of “evangelizing”: radiating God’s Love through my being, my action, my realization and my projection, even if I do not expressly pronounce the word “God” with phonemes.

A second influence of my integractive vision is I never try to control my student’s reality, and this means a lot of things. I let them be and let them grow respecting their dignity, their integrity, their whole personal formation’s processes. What I do try to keep in control and try to help my students to learn how to keep in control is behavior, what is very different than try to control someone’s reality through an ideological vision. For example: it is not the same trying to impose a specific value through using books that only propose a convenient value (that’s ideological) than trying to help the student to acquire a new habit that allows his or her whole personal formation to grow more coherently (that’s integractive).

Another way my integractive vision influences my teaching style is that I have learned to respect my student’s own vision and helping them to realize how to be more coherent with the vision they choose to build, whatever it is. This is more applicable to middle school students than to elementary school students, because elementary school students are usually still “learning to see”, so you need to present them all the views possible in order to make them are able to understand different point of view and create their own visions. That can be done in many ways during the class, especially through modeling examples that are pertinent to each student’s personal formation. How do I know that the examples I model are pertinent to the students’ personal formation? At the beginning of our first class together I gave them a homework: an interest inventory in which I asked many questions about them. I gave it as a homework so they can take as much time as they need to think the answers and write them according to the information they choose to share with me. For example: there are students that have medical conditions that they choose to not share with me, although I have known them from other legitimate sources. Whatever information that they choose not to share with me, I don’t take it count or assume as known in our conversations and classwork. This interest inventory is key to me to know what examples are more pertinent to each students’ personal formation, although talking with them and playing with them also works to know it too. I have them in a binder with sheet protectors and consult it as many times as I need, because I don’t have the memory to memorize all their answers, but I need to keep them present constantly.

Other way my integractive vision influences my teaching style is through trying to create communion (unconditional personal giftedness), to create family (unconditional personal acceptance) and to create community (unconditional personal empathy) in the classroom, so there is the “creative growing space” needed to learn how to become the best person they can be while learning English as second language. I do not explain them explicitly this (I do not want them to learn that they must do things the same way I do them, I usually seek the way to let them choose how to do things, although the instructions do state clearly what they should do), I simply do whatever is necessary to achieve the needed “creative personal growth” environmental conditions. I consider that the learning environment is part of the curriculum, so creating a space where learning and personal growth is possible as its best is something that I really try to care. For me it’s a proven fact that students learn more and better when they see that the teacher care their personal growth and respect them as persons in the first place. The school culture has a lot to do about this too. This is not something that a teacher can do by her own initiative alone, the school learning principles (I prefer to consider them “growing principles”) must allow this too. This has been the case in the Elementary School where I had been doing my teaching practicum.

I took me a long time and some life experience to learn that reality is not accurately assessed with an ideological vision but with an integractive vision, a vision founded in the personal formation’s processes, in how the person becomes who he is and who he is called to be, and in the unconditional dignity of every person. It also took me some time and experience to realize that reality can’t be manipulated at the own will, sooner or later it reveals itself. All this influences not only my teaching style but my whole understanding of personal formation. Contemplating reality through an integractive vision definitely helps me to grow not only as the best person I can become, but as the person God calls me to be.

Let’s keep growing!

Walking Like He Walked

This is a teaching integractive blog. On Sundays, I usually write an essay about elements that influence my teaching or that are related with my teaching. What I am going to write about today has influenced me deeply both as person and as teacher: my faith. I usually do not talk about my faith in my classroom, but today I am going to talk about a faith experience that has helped me to model the kind of person and teacher I want to be.

Today I am going to write about how I overcame a deep faith crisis that leaded me to become a better person and a better teacher.

Several years ago, around 2008, I had a deep and strong faith crisis. I asked myself if I could be creative and catholic at the same time, if I could be who I am (I am naturally intellectual and creative) and catholic at the same time. This crisis was caused by my belonging to a catholic institution, still quite unknown in Puerto Rico, called “Opus Dei”. This institution teaches through intern institutional formation that if you leave them you lose your vocation and probably even your eternal salvation, among other very questionable teachings.

Through this crisis I discovered my true vocation, my human and ecclesial vocation, my vocation to grow by living charity and to irradiate God’s Love by forming Him in my whole personal formation. I deepened my human and ecclesial vocation through three ways:

-Though Arts: I painted a Jesus Charity. The picture of that painting is this one:

Jesus Charity.jpg

I developed an iconography for all the forms included in the painting. I also wrote a love story that described my process of conversion after leaving Opus Dei: Fiat Amor. I affirmed my ecclesial vocation as a vocation to form an image of God’s Love in whole personal formation through living charity. My vocation stopped being an “institutional vocation” (belonging to Opus Dei) to be transformed in a personal vocation, humanly and ecclesially. I discovered my vocation as fruit of God’s grace, not as fruit of institutional proselytism (like in Opus Dei). I discovered my creative talent as an instrument the Church, instead of being something that hindered some institutional customs.

-Through Sciences (Humanities, Education, Social Sciences, Philosophy): I created integraction, a model of human and ecclesial personal formation. Formation stopped being institutional (aspiring to be Opus Dei) to become in personal formation, humanly and ecclesially. I discovered personal formation as charism, instead of some kind of institutional “mold”. I discovered intellectual talent as instrument to affirm my whole personal formation according to God’s Love, not according to the customs of an institution.

-Through Religion (Catholic theology): I created a theology of light, a theology that deals with the whole personal formation according to God’s Light, a theology that proposes the personal formation as the fullest radiation of God’s Love. I discovered theology as contemplative knowledge of God’s Love, not as memorization of information only, as I knew it in Opus Dei. I discovered the personal formation as talent to serve humanity, not as instrument to serve an specific institution only.

My healing and my restoration after my belonging and leaving Opus Dei has taken long years, more than the time I belonged the institution. In part it had to do with the fact that before I met Opus Dei I was a person of faith with common elements with the institution. For example, prior entering Opus Dei I had a clear lay vocation and thought that studying philosophy and theology was part of my God’s call. That is to say, in my vocation there were elements common to Opus Dei prior belonging to them, without the institution being the one to propose it, hence I really thought that my vocation to Opus Dei was real.

Once restored, my human and ecclesial vocation was transformed, after a time of living it as an “alliance of charity”, into a “consecration to charity”: a consecration to learn how to live charity with the greatest possible correspondence to God in all circumstances; a consecration to learn how to walk like Jesus walked, to think like He thought, to act like He acted, to grow as He grew, to radiate like He radiated, to love like He Loved… to live like He lives. The consecration to charity is a service to people and to the Church. It is difficult to describe the immense joy that comes from the simple fact of being able to live and form myself based on living charity, something so deeply ecclesial and Christian, after surviving an experience like having belonged to Opus Dei, something that requires following so many institutional customs that are quite questionable from the charity perspective. That consecration to charity made and continues to make a big difference in me.

What kind of differences has the alliance of charity and the consecration to charity made in my personal formation? I will sketch some of them.

In negative:

Stop forming myself as I am not: after the alliance of charity and the consecration to charity any attempt to control conscience via spiritual direction is impossible. I am no longer formed to be an institution: I am formed to be a Christian person, to radiate the image of Jesus Charity through my personal formation because I have been created to radiate that Love, that is how I am.

Stop forming myself because “I must be in a certain way“: after the alliance of charity and consecration to charity, I began to form myself to relate personally to God, not because I must be in a certain institutional way, or not because I must be a canonized saint… The first thing is to relate to God, and everything else will come in addition to that.

Stop forming myself to obey only: after the alliance of charity and consecration to charity, I did not form myself to fulfill a plan of life that seemed more like a marketing plan, or to fulfill the expectations of an institution. Now I am formed to grow in communion, to fulfill a project of communion, humanly and ecclesially.

Stop forming myself to please a director: now I am not formed to please others, but to live charity towards God, towards my neighbor and towards myself. Now spiritual direction is part of living charity towards God, not merely following instructions and institutional customs.

In positive:

Personal formation centered on personal growth, on imitating Jesus, on communion and on living charity: after the alliance of charity and consecration to charity, I am responsible for my growth, because growth no longer depends exclusively on obeying to an institution. After the consecration to charity, I discern my project of evangelization with creative freedom, imitating Jesus, growing in communion and learning to live charity. I choose the meaning of the forms of my personal and ecclesial formation.

Acceptance of personal formation as a unit of processes: personal formation in Opus Dei is confused with institutional training that consists of memorization of information and following some customs and institutional instructions. A great change after the alliance of charity and the consecration to charity has been to accept personal formation as a unit of processes in constant progress. There is no longer the anxiety of having to adapt my whole personal formation to the foundationality of an institution. Now the personal formation is fluid and changing. Today I do not have to be the same as yesterday (I no longer have to adjust to being just Opus Dei in the same way day by day, as the directors say). The ways of living the obligations that the consecration to charity entails change day by day according to personal discernment, I do not live the charity of it in exactly the same way every day, although the commitment of consecration to charity remains the same. The consecration to charity is a flowing commitment, like the grace that flows.

Acceptance of personal formation as a complex process: now that personal formation does not equals institutional formation, after the alliance of charity and the consecration to charity, forming myself does not consist of something as “squared” as obeying the director and following a plan (I continue living piety norms, but with freedom to be who I am. For example: if I cannot do a piety norm, I substitute it with a work of charity, and if doing a work of charity prevents making a piety norm, I do the work of charity first). Now personal formation is something complex in which elements such as natural law and experience are taken into account, and in which there can be various ways of following the will of God as inspired by the Holy Spirit.

Openness to experience: when I was part of Opus Dei I was told many times that I had the chronic defect of being “pride” for taking into account my experience as one of the criteria of my formation. In Opus Dei the only acceptable criterion of institutional formation is the will of the director. After the alliance of charity and the consecration to charity I can freely accept my experience as part of the configuration of the criteria of my personal formation, without being treated like an “unfaithful”. Now I can open myself to experience, my own and from others, without it meaning something like wanting to oppose some institutional view.

Acceptance of others without pretending to change them: in Opus Dei there is a huge preassure to make as many as possible part of the institution, making contact lists and determining institutional goals if necessary. This is institutional proselytism. After the alliance to charity and the consecration to charity there is no longer a desire to change others, but to help them to be, to do, to grow and to radiate. Now there is eagerness to learn to help others grow, accepting the person unconditionally.

Acceptance of myself: Opus Dei instills mistrust in oneself, since the criterion of personal formation must always be the director. After the alliance of charity and the consecration to charity I recovered a healthy confidence in myself, with the help of God’s grace.

Acceptance of all personal formation as it is, not according to the institution says it is: after the alliance of charity and consecration to charity I pay more attention to what is as it is. That sounds like tongue twisters, but it is not the same to pay attention to what is supposed to be according to the institutional, or to be less than what one is, to simply pay attention to what it is. For example: I now accept the personal formation of others as it is, not because of institutional proselytism.

Although I stayed studying in an Opus Dei’s University after leaving the institution, eventually I also needed to leave the University in order to be able to begin Jesus Charity as creative project and to reform my spiritual life after leaving the institution. It was impossible for me beginning Jesus Charity in their University: I did not have all the necessary intellectual resources (I lacked social sciences intellectual resources) and the necessary creative-spiritual space to begin a project like Jesus Charity there. So, I asked myself then, in what I would work after leaving my PhD in philosophy (that meant that I would not be able to become a college professor, as I planned)? I chose to become a teacher, first a religion teacher and later an ESL teacher. I chose to learn how to help people be, do, grow and radiate through school education.

How to share all my human and ecclesial growth after the alliance of charity and the consecration of charity? First, through my personal formation, through living charity and keep growing until becoming who I am and who I am meant to be according to God’s Love. However, in order to being able to do that I discerned that I needed to create an intellectual structure for reforming everything that needed to be corrected in me after leaving Opus Dei, so I began to write Walking Like He Walked, a draft in which I describe integraction, the iconography of Jesus Charity, the theology of light and the consecration to charity. I first wrote Walking Like He Walked to be shared anonymously in a web page managed by an ex Opus Dei member where ex-members of Opus Dei are usually understood (it is very hard to find spaces, specially in the Church, where people can understand the experience of surviving Opus Dei), but the administrator of that web page kindly rejected to publish my text because the web page did not want to promote any doctrine or “way” to Opus Dei ex members, and they considered my text to be a “way”. The intention was sharing this text as an anonymous “fraternal correction” to Opus Dei. What do I mean with this? Anyone who belonged to Opus Dei knows what they understand as “fraternal correction”: an accusation to which a “thank you” had to be answered always, even if it was unfair. During the final stages of my psico-spiritual recovery I discerned that I should make a fraternal correction to Opus Dei for every institutional mistake I witnessed, but the fraternal correction that I prayed was not like theirs: mine was like “helping to grow”, not like an accusation. So, according to my prayer, my fraternal correction should consist in sharing with them how much I grew while being informed, conformed, transformed and reformed by God’s Love after leaving Opus Dei, not in sharing a list of all the mistakes that I witnessed while I was linked to Opus Dei.

Anyone could ask me: how do I live charity towards Opus Dei without telling the mistakes I witnessed? Simply: avoiding condemning anyone, including them. In this case, living charity is allowing everyone to grow, including them. That way, all the mistakes I witnessed would be part of Opus Dei’s growing process. There is no need of accusation if a mistake is a necessary part of growing, the only need is helping to grow. I have a basic life principle that can be applied to circumstances like this one: never attribute to malice what is simply a consequence of lack of growth. People like me had been injured by some of Opus Dei’s mistakes, necessary for their growth, but I don’t think their primary intention had never been hurting anyone, although definitely some of those mistakes have hurt many souls.

There is another aspect of living charity involved here: living charity not only towards Opus Dei but towards ex members of Opus Dei also, many who believe that they will lose their vocation and salvation due leaving the institution, among others acharities (acharity is lack of charity) that had been seen like normalcy through Opus Dei’s internal institutional formation. They must also know that they are loved and embraced by God in their new way, that leaving Opus Dei is not the end of their vocation but a transformation and a reformation, one of many that we all have in life as we keep growing. Transformation is a natural part of the process of realization and reformation is a natural part of projection. Only God’s mercy can decide who is saved. We all keep growing, we all commit mistakes, and we all need God’s mercy.

Because I am not able to share Walked by He Walked anonymously, as I planned, I chose to share it here with my first name and my last names. The deepest meaning of sharing this is no longer sharing a fraternal correction, now that is accidental and worthless because Opus Dei won’t know I am writing this (I have no contact with current Opus Dei members), the only way they would have known would had been through the ex-member web page were I planned to share this anonimously, that is seen by hundreds of members too. Now the deepest meaning of sharing Walking Like He Walked is simply sharing what God has given me to serve better as human being, as Christian and, of course, as teacher. This is my way of sharing the gifts I have received and my intellectual-creative talent.

What is exactly Walked Like He Walked? Right now is a draft written in English of the text I plan to share in Spanish in February 14, 2019: that is the day of my consecration to charity due being Saint Valentine’s Day, a day of love. This draft has seven parts:

-The first two parts are explorations of the concept “light”. I won’t include these parts in the Spanish text, I don’t consider it necessary.

-Parts III and IV explain integraction as human and ecclesial personal formation model.

-Part V explains the process of forming God’s Love in the personal formation, illustrating it through the painting of Jesus Charity.

-Part VI explains the conversion of life in a story of Love.

-Part VII explains the conversion of the personal formation in a work of Love: the new humanization, the new ecclesialization, the new evangelization, the consecration to charity and the Family Evangelization Project (helping to be, helping to do, helping to grow, helping to radiate).

I am aware that the English draft is full of grammatical errors. I beg you to focus on the ideas, at least for now. I will take care of grammar issues with more care in the Spanish version. Walking Like He Walked is a long text, but reading the introduction is enough to have an idea of what each part contents and to choose what to read and what not to read. I need to make two warnings. The first one: I studies in two theological faculties and I couldn’t finish the degree in any one. I failed many classes, specially philosophical and latin. What I mean is that I am not an academic philosopher or an academic theologian. I may be a philosopher or a theologian, but in the creative-intellectual sense. I think that this is evident through the text: my method was not academic nor it was meant to be so. Whoever expects reading academic theology or academic philosophy in this text will be disappointed. The second warning: integraction is not meant to be a model or theory of human development, but to explain how we are who we are and how we become who we are meant to be. Whoever expects to find in integraction a human development model or theory will be disappointed too. I think there are many good models and theories to explain human development. This is not one of them, although I have studied some of them and taken them into consideration while writing this text.

Of all the ideas I present in this draft, I think that the most important one is the consecration of Charity. This consecration realizes God’s dreams and convert us in a work of Love, in a living sign of God’s Love, in a sacrament of God’s Love, in “Eucharist” for the brothers and sisters. In Opus Dei there is something known as the apostolate of “not giving”. I discovered the apostolate of the “yes giving”: saying yes to God to give His Love and saying yes to give ourselves. Sharing all these ideas is for me part of the apostolate of “yes giving”: I am giving the fruit of my prayer, of the contemplated ideas, of the witness of learning to know God’s Love. This consecration to charity is not a religious consecration, I am lay, but I think it is possible to serve the Church and to be a lay consecrated to charity, it is a matter of being creative. As a matter of fact, every Cristian should live a consecrated life, being consecrated can’t be for religious only.

Without any doubt, what saved my faith after the deep crisis caused by Opus Dei was my personal encounter with God’s Love and to reform my ecclesial vocation as I learned to form that Love in my personal formation and in the canvas, as a work of art and as a work of Love, always with more fidelity. I am still learning to do that, that learning will continue through my whole lifetime. Learning to live charity is learning to correspond God’s Love and to radiate it to everyone through the personal formation.

I wanted, on purpose, to wait until the Triduum and until Easter to write these lines during the Divine Mercy novena and share this on the Divine Mercy Sunday. I trust all my mistakes while I was linked to Opus Dei to God’s Mercy, and I also trust to Him all the institutional mistakes I witnessed, trusting that that Mercy is capable of transforming any situation, no matter how dark it may be, in a radiation of God’s Love. I do not regret of spending time of my life as member of Opus Dei, nor of studying in their University, because if I wouldn’t lived what I lived and suffered what I suffered I wouldn’t discovered my ecclesial vocation as a vocation to form God’s Love in the personal formation, nor I would have discovered integraction, the theology of light or Jesus Charity. I am thankful to Opus Dei for getting me closer to God’s Love, even if it was through provoking a crisis and through provoking pain. It helped me to think that the institutional mistakes I witnessed were part of their growth. The bigger the error, the greater the possibility of growth.

To whoever may be injured by Opus Dei practices, I present you the painting of Jesus Charity: a Jesus painted to radiate God’s Love in the darkest circumstances of humanity, among abuses, especially if committed in the name of God, among injustices, among broken personal formations, among injured human dignity, among acharities. This is the Jesus capable of informing, conforming, transforming and reforming the whole person and every person, no matter how sinner he or she could be, if the person allows God to love him or her. As a curious fact, there was a moment I thought I could give the painting as gift to the Legionaries of Christ, so they may use it as a founder’s photo, instead of the photo of the Marcial Maciel. It was not possible for me doing that.

I have entrusted Opus Dei to Jesus Charity, with the hope that some day there will be institutional changes for avoiding any spiritual injury due following institutional customs that provoke spiritual harm. I have also entrusted to Jesus Charity any abuse victim, especially those who had been abused in the name of God, so they may know the Love capable of healing any kind of wound. Another curious fact about the painting: at the beginning, its name was “Jesus Love” (“Jesús Amor”) because in Puerto Rico it is very common for people calling each other “amor” (“love”), so I dared to call Jesus “Love” too, but with capital letter. May we all dare to see Jesus as our Love, to getting closer to Him and to trust Him, contemplating Him as the Incarnated Love of God. For this, it helps me to repeat the jaculatory prayer: “Jesus Charity, we grow in You!” It is said in plural because it is a prayer said as living Church.

Considering the context of Walking Like He Walked, I consider important to make two clarifications. The first one: when I titled Walking Like He Walked I did not had present at all in my thought the sense of the word “walking the way” used in Opus Dei, not even as a critic. In the moment of choosing that title I was thinking in a biblical quote, 1 Jn 2:6: “whoever claims to abide in him ought to walk like he walked.” This can be translated in several forms: “lived as he lived”, “act like he acted…” The translation of the exegesis I used when I began to contemplate the theology of light from the First Epistle of John said “walk like he walked”, that’s why I chose those words. My emphasis in the use of the verb “walking” and Opus Dei’s emphasis in the use of the word “way”, two extremely very similar concepts, is strictly coincidence. They are not meant to be related or connected.

The second clarification: the expression “work of Love” is a very important concept of Walking Like He Walked. It could be seen as an implicit allusion or critic to Opus Dei name’s meaning, “work of God”. It has never meant to be so. The expression “work of Love” originated from the process of forming Jesus Charity as an artistic work: the artistic work of the hands is converted in a “work of Love” as the whole personal formation is converted in a living sign of God’s Love; as the whole personal formation is converted in “living sacrament” of God’s Love. Any coincidence in emphasis in the use of the word “work” in Walking Like He Walked and in Opus Dei institutional formation is also strictly coincidence. Literally I never heard anyone or read anything in the institution that applied the name “work of God” as “work of Love.” I read and studied (literally studied: I photocopied internal documents in secret so I could highlight them and study them) many internal documents, and I never knew or contemplated the idea “work of Love” while I was member of the institution. I contemplated that idea, as I just said, while applying the process of painting Jesus Charity, the process of creating an artistic work, to the processes of personal formation, the process of creating a “work of Love.” So, when I talk about “converting us in a work of Love”, that could also be understood ad “converting us in a work of God” if you define God as Love, I do not mean to convert us in “Opus Dei”, the institution. I do not mean the opposite neither. The ideas are simply not meant to be connected. Whoever has evidence of any Opus Dei’s institutional formation document (internal document) that has the concept “work of God” applied as “work of Love”, please share the evidence. I do not have a good memory, but the idea of becoming a “work of Love” is so important to me that if I would have heard or read it before painting Jesus Charity, inside or outside Opus Dei, I would have remembered it.

You can find the PDF of Walking Like He Walked here: Walking Like He Walked.

Any critic or comment to the painting of Jesus Charity, to integraction, to the theology of light, to Walking Like He Walked or to any of the ideas I have presented are completely welcome. There is always opportunity to helping to be, helping to do, helping to grow and helping to radiate God’s Love with more clarity and transparency.

What all this have in relation with my teaching? I will give ten lessons about how what I learned through this crisis makes me a better teacher. I won’t explain the concrete circumstances that leaded me to learn that lesson, I will share just the lessons.

First, I discovered my teaching vocation through this crisis, as I explained before.

Second, I have learned by experience that people are more important than institutions or customs, methods or curriculums. Teaching is not a matter of keeping an intellectual credibility: it is a matter of helping to grow people.

Third, although I usually don’t talk about religion to my students, my faith in God’s Love discovered through the consecration to charity is clearly the greatest influence of my motivation to teach and helping my students to grow. I teach them because I want to learn how to love them as God loves them and I want them to be the best person they can be because that is what God would want for them. As a teacher I learn to live charity through my lesson plans and through my pedagogy. Jesus’ commandment of Love informs, conforms, transforms and reforms what I do as person and of course as teacher also.

Fourth, integraction has given me a wider view of the personal formation processes. By example: I am aware that I am a role model for my students (in integraction, this is explained as the influence of action). God has given me the ability to make choices about my words and my actions. Those choices are also part of the lesson plan as integractive context. I as teacher aim to teach and model not only my subject but also sanctity: ways of living that help us to be, to do, to grow and to radiate in fraternity and communion of the saints. I am not called to be perfect and without sin, but for my students I can be a role model of how to embody Christ in our personal formation if they chose to see it that way.

Fifth, I have learned to define my teaching authority according to the authority of Jesus. I use my authority appropriately when I am able to create a learning environment that is intellectually, spiritually, psychologically and physically safe for every student. My authority as teacher does not aims to be an authority of obedience and following instructions, it aims to be an authority of Love. I must be prepared to follow through with the appropriate rules, but not for the sake of the rule but for the sake of the person. The abuse of authority can cause great harm, so I should think carefully about how I use the authority that has been entrusted to me.

Sixth, I have learned to care for the whole person. When I care for the whole person it is shown in a consistent attitude that continually reminds the people in my class that they are not alone, that we are learning and growing together. Sometimes what seems like an insignificant thing provides the bit of grace that enables a student to envision a hopeful future. True caring never tries to force or control another. How to show my students that I care? Listening attentively to them is one of the most simple and respectful things I can do to showing them how much I care. As I listen to them, I am not just listening for information. I am listening for their whole personal formation: their bodies, their minds, their relations, their thoughts, their abilities, their feelings, their hopes, their dreams… the personal formation that they are revealing. I become a safe companion as my students can explore new ideas or to reevaluate beliefs without fears of not being accepted because I give them the gift of a nonjudgmental presence. Personal listening time is as holy as my prayer time.

Seventh, I have learned that curriculum is integractive. For me, curriculum is not only the content I am expected to teach, as it is usually understood. For me, curriculum is the integration, action realization and projection of class members with the content, materials, resources, and learning community. For example: the culture of the classroom is part of the curriculum. Creating a rich, welcoming and creative learning space, where all students are valued and accepted as human beings, is part of the curriculum. When spirituality is used to judge people, when words and actions tear down people, then spiritual abuse is occurring. The same applies to curriculum: when intellectuality is used to judge students, when words and actions tear down students, then intellectual abuse is occurring. Allowing an atmosphere in which such circumstances are ordinary part of the classroom’s culture is a misuse of curriculum. Integractive curriculum applies the content of each lesson to the personal formation of the students without allowing judgements and enriching it with meaning. Finding meaning in life empowers students to share themselves with others and to enhance their learning.

Eighth, I have learned the importance of learning humanly: the importance of touching, greeting and looking to the eyes when teaching. Human touch, greeting and eye contact is important throughout life and for learning. People need to be touched, greeted, hugged and looked in appropriate ways to receive the nurture that allows them to learn, trust and relate with others. Touching, greeting and looking other people in appropriate ways contributes to their well-being and enhances all the personal formation’s processes. For example: I as teacher need to think about the way I welcome, interact with, and say good-bye to my students. A hug may be an appropriate greeting for elementary children, but a pat on the head, for example, can be either welcoming or demeaning for them, depending on the circumstances. The recipient of the touch determines whether the touch is appropriate or inappropriate, no matter what were the intentions. It is wise to ask to a student, no matter how young he or she is, if a touch is ok if he or she did not initiate it. For example: I could ask an elementary student that behave exceptionally well in a class if I may give him or her a hug to congratulate him or her. I would not recommend that kind of touch with upper elementary grade levels, in that case the touch would be a hand in the shoulder. It may seem a complication to ask these kind of things, it may seem to be simpler to avoid touching, but it would also dehumanize learning.

Ninth, I have learned to use words to affirm the person unconditionally. Words can build up people or they can demean them. I as teacher need to be aware of the power of my words, both the words I speak and the words students say in my class. Affirming words influence personal formation and learning for good. Judgements destroy self-esteem. If we only criticize a student, that person will begin to believe, sooner or later, that he or she is not a capable human being and will have difficulties developing healthy self-esteem. Corrective words are necessary, but also praise words.

Tenth, I have learned to integrate diversity. This does not only mean to accept and nurture my student’s diverse abilities (what they can do), instead of only focusing in what they cannot do. This also means to accept and integrate my student’s diverse learning styles. My students do not learn the same way, so I can’t teach always the same way. I need to help them thrive by adapting my teaching methods to their learning styles, creating a culture were personal differences are part of the journey, not an exception.

I proposed to share this post on the Divine Mercy Sunday, and as I write these words the clock says  “12:00 a.m.” of Divine Mercy Sunday. I won’t go to Church early tomorrow because I will go to the mass at 3:00 p.m. instead of the 9:00 am, so today I chose to write until late. It is time to finish my post, and today I will finish it with a phrase that helps me to keep growing:

Jesus Charity, we grow in You!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Explaining the Integractor

Today I am going to explain the integractor, the structure of integraction, piece by piece and form by form. Remember that integraction is a personal formation model with four processes: integration, action, realization and projection. The explication that I am going to give in this post can help you a lot to visualize integraction. So, let’s begin to explain the integractor!

The first form of the integractor is a triangle, like this one:

This triangle is formed by 14 pieces: seven orange sticks and seven wood connectors. The integractor has two of these triangles:

Each one of these triangles forms a dimension of the integration, the first of the four processes of integraction. Let’s talk about these triangles.

The first triangle forms the organic dimension of integration. Each orange stick of this triangle is a property of the organic dimension:

Hierarchical Property: every human body is ordered hierarchically.

Nutritive Property: every human body is capable of obtaining the energy that he or she needs to subsist.

Regulative Property: every human body is capable of maintaining his or her internal equilibrium towards the environmental changing circumstances.

Reproductive Property: every human body is capable or replicating himself or herself. Sexual reproduction requires a feminine gamete and a masculine gamete, and supposes a longer maturation time related to asexual reproduction.

Evolutive Property: every human body evolves maximizing his or her survival.

Progressive Property: every human body grows, develops and matures progressively through life time.

Sensitive Property: every human body reacts to changes and interacts with the stimulus that surrounds them.

Each wood connector is a Christian attribute of the organic dimension of ecclesial integraction. The Christian attributes of the organic dimension are the seven sacraments:

Baptism: this sacrament frees the human person from original sin, incorporates the human person to Christ and makes the human person a member of the living body of Christ, the Church. It is administered with natural water and chrism, and invoking the Holy Trinity. Anyone can be baptized once in his or her lifetime.

Penance: when a sin is committed the human person betrays God and the Church where he or she belongs. This sacrament forgives the committed sins with an absolution given by a priest, and reconciliates the sinner with God. Contrition and satisfaction are required. Anyone can receive the sacrament of penance as many times as needed during lifetime.

Eucharist: in this sacrament the human person becomes one with Christ, present in the Blessed Sacrament, when eating bread and drinking wine. Bread and wine are transubstantiated into the Holy Body and the Holy Blood of our Lord: Christ offers himself through a priest. The Eucharist is part of the Mass, that commemorates the Passion and Resurrection of our Lord. Anyone can receive the sacrament of Eucharist once daily or weekly if the person is in state of grace (without mortal sins).

Confirmation: this sacrament is administered by a bishop who lay on his hands and anoints with chrism the human person while saying a prayer. Anyone can be confirmed once in his or her lifetime.

Matrimony: this sacraments is administered by the spouses, with a priest as a witness. With this sacrament the spouses commit to help each other in their sanctification. Any woman and man couple can receive the sacrament of matrimony, but once given it can’t be repeated until the death of one of the spouses.

Holy Orders: this sacrament ordains priests. It is administered by a bishop by laying of his hands and following the ordination formula. The laity is also part of priesthood, but in a different manner, not through holy orders. Only men, authorized by the bishop after years of study and preparation, can receive the Holy Orders.

Extremeunction: this sacrament gives strength to the soul and the remission of sins, if necessary. It is administered by a priest that anoints the human person with blessed oil, accompanied by a prayer. This sacrament can be received by any baptized person that is in danger of death.

The second triangle forms the onthological dimension. Each orange stick of this triangle is a property of the onthological dimension:

Ens Property: every human entity is a being.

Res Property: every human entity is a thing.

Aliquid Property: every human entity is something.

Unum Property: every human entity is a unity.

Verum Property: every human entity is true.

Bonum Property: every human entity is good.

Pulchrum Property: every human entity is beautiful.

Each wood connector of this second triangle is a Christian attribute of the onthological dimension of ecclesial integraction. The Christian attributes of the onthological dimension are the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit:

Wisdom: this gift helps the human person to keep God in the center of the personal formation, to embrace spiritual values over worldly values and to view everything from God’s perspective.

Understanding: this gift helps the human person to comprehend the meaning of God’s words, to be leaded to God’s truth and to embrace God’s mystery.

Counsel: this gift helps the human person to choose the best options to follow God’s will when choices are given, to recognize the difference between good and evil or right and wrong, and to avoid sin.

Fortitude: this gift helps the human person to be committed to what he or she knows that is right, to sustain the choice of pursuing God’s will even when threaten by injury or even death and to endure evil when choosing to do the right thing.

Knowledge: this gift helps the human person to contemplate God’s revelation, to be aware of God’s will, to grasp God’s creative project and how he or she should answer to God and to discern if he or she is living according to God’s plan.

Piety: this gift helps the human person to pray with true devotion, to honor to God’s creative will and to correspond His creative will with love.

Wonder: this gift helps the human person to embrace God with respect and amazement, to be conscious of His glory, majesty and kindness, to increase his or her desire to be closer to Him, to dread sin and to fear not honoring His creative plan.

These two triangles are united by seven pink sticks and fourteen wood caps:

These seven pink sticks and fourteen wood caps form the filial dimension of integration. Each pink stick is a principle of the filial dimension:

Humanization Principle: every human subject is  called to become more human.

Autonomy Principle: every human subject is called to determine by himself or herself.

Equality Principle: every human subject have the same rights and duties.

Complexity Principle: every human subject is called to act according to what is determined by his or her own discernment, departing from what they know from reality.

Totality Principle: every human subject is responsible of the totality of their personal being. 

Solidarity Principle: every human subject is called to contribute to the common good according to his or her possibilities.

Subsidiarity Principle: every human subject is called to develop all his or her talents to the best expression possible, assuming everything that he or she can by himself or herself.

Each wood cap is a Christian quality of the filial dimension of the ecclesial integraction. The wood cap of one extreme of each pink stick is a capital virtue and the other extreme of the same stick is a capital vice. The seven capital virtues are:

Chastity: the inclination to embrace purity and gives to the gift of sexuality the proper respect in thoughts, emotions and behaviors, in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the brothers and sisters. This virtue is counter to lust.

Moderation: the inclination to embrace self-control in thoughts, emotions and behaviors, in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the brothers and sisters. This virtue is counter to gluttony.

Generosity: the inclination to embrace giving and the appropriate concern of earthly possessions in thoughts, emotions and behaviors, in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the brothers and sisters. This virtue is counter to greed.

Diligence: the inclination to embrace persistence and the effectiveness in thoughts, emotions and behaviors, in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the brothers and sisters. This virtue is counter to sloth.

Forgiveness: the inclination to embrace patience and mercy in thoughts, emotions and behaviors, in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the brothers and sisters. This virtue is counter to wrath.

Kindness: the inclination to embrace brotherly love and compassionate concern for others in thoughts, emotions and behaviors, in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the brothers and sisters. This virtue is counter to envy.

Humility: the inclination to embrace modesty, appropriate appreciation of one’s self worth and selflessness in thoughts, emotions and behaviors, in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the brothers and sisters. This virtue is counter to pride.

The seven capital vices are:

Lust: the inclination to sin of uncontrollable passion and lack of respect for sexuality in thoughts, emotions and behaviors, in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the brothers and sisters. This vice is counter to chastity.

Gluttony: the inclination to sin of over indulging in thoughts, emotions and behaviors, in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the brothers and sisters. This vice is counter to temperance.

Greed: the inclination to sin of avarice or excessive desires of material possessions in thoughts, emotions and behaviors, in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the brothers and sisters. This vice is counter to generosity.

Sloth: the inclination to sin of laziness or lack of using talents diligently in thoughts, emotions and behaviors, in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the brothers and sisters. This vice is counter to diligence.

Wrath: the inclination to sin of anger, hate and conflict-seeking attitudes in thoughts, emotions and behaviors, in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the brothers and sisters. This vice is counter to forgiveness.

Envy: the inclination to sin of sorrow over the goods of another person in thoughts, emotions and behaviors, in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the brothers and sisters. This vice is counter to kindness.

Pride: the inclination to sin of inappropriate appreciation of one’s self worth in thoughts, emotions and behaviors, in the eyes of God and in the eyes of the brothers and sisters. This vice is counter to humility.

When the two triangles are united with the seven pink sticks and the fourteen wood caps, they form a tridimensional triangle:

Each one of the three dimensions forms a Christian aptitude of the integration of the ecclesial integraction. The Christian aptitude of the organic dimension is charity. The Christian aptitude of the ontological dimension is faith. The Christian aptitude of the filial dimension is hope. The unity of all the properties, principles, attributes, qualities and dimensions forms the formative task of integration: helping to be.

The integractor has three crosses:

Each cross has one wood center, four green sticks and four wood connectors.

Each wood center is a factor of the action:

Thoughts: developing your ideas.

Emotions: developing your sentiments.

Abilities: developing your skills.

Each green stick is an expression of the action:

Intention: developing the motivation of action.

Disposition: developing the attitude of action.

Signification: developing the meaning of action.

Volition: developing the determination of action.

Each wood connector is a moral standard of the action:

Prudence: developing the faculty to judge actions appropriately, according to truth.

Temperance: developing the faculty to temper the action appropriately, controlling the appetite.

Courage: developing the faculty to confront actions appropriately, without fear.

Justice: developing the faculty to undertake actions appropriately, fairly.

The integractor has twelve springs:

Ideally, six of these springs would be of one color and the other six would be of another color, but today they are all the same color (the store where I bought the wire did not had the same kind of wire in two different colors, that’s why I used wire of only one color).

Six of these springs are the influences of integraction. The human integraction has six influences and the ecclesial integraction has six influences. The influence of the human organic dimension is genetics. The influence of the human ontological dimension is knowledge. The influence of human filial dimension is laws. The influence of human action is role models. The influence of human realization is the priority of needs. The influence of human projection is goals. The influence of ecclesial organic dimension is the Revelation. The influence of ecclesial ontological dimension is the Magisterium. The influence of ecclesial filial dimension is Canon Law. The influence of ecclesial action is prayer. The influence of ecclesial realization is mission. The influence of ecclesial projection is personal consecration.

The six other springs are the manifestations of integraction. The human integraction has six manifestatioms and the ecclesial integraction has six manifestations. The manifestation of the human organic dimension is health. The manifestation of human ontological dimension is health. The manifestation of human filial dimension is politics. The manifestation of human action is behavior. The manifestation of human realization is economy (management of available resources). The manifestation of human projection is obration (work in formation). The manifestation of ecclesial organic dimension is the resurrection. The manifestation of ecclesial ontological dimension is adoration. The manifestation of filial ecclesial dimension is living the Mandatum Novum (the Commandment of Love). The manifestation of ecclesial action is liturgy. The manifestation of ecclesial realization is apostolate. The manifestation of ecclesial projection is communion of the saints.

The unity of each of the three crosses with the tridimensional triangle forms the formative task of the action, helping to do:

Please notice that there are two springs in each side of the cross: an influence and a manifestation. It can be hard to notice because the two springs are of the same color.

Each cross of the integractor can move by rotation:

The movement of each cross is a cause of the realization:

Creating Communion: generating gifts through sharing who we are.

Creating Family: generating bonds through engaging ourselves.

Creating Community: generating values through inspiring others.

Please notice that the direction of the rotation can be neither to the left or to the right. Each direction is an emanation of realization:

Actuality: grow as who we are.

Potentiality: grow as who we are meant to be.

The unity of the movements of the three crosses forms the formative task of realization: helping to grow.

Now, let’s imagine that the crosses, that have four extremities, radiate light when they move in coherence. The light that is radiated by each extremity of each cross forms a key of the projection:

Vital Identity: cultivate dreams that project love.

Vital Vocation: cultivate freedom that projects service.

Vital Communication: cultivate self-giving that projects life.

Vital Perfection: cultivate plenitude that projects joy.

The light can be radiated horizontally, vertically and circularly. Each way the light is radiated, horizontally, vertically or circularly, forms an emission of projection. The emissions of human projection are:

-Primacy of the Good: esthetic criteria, arts.

Primacy of the Right: ethical criteria, religion.

Primacy of the True: logical criteria, science.

The emissions of ecclesial projection are:

-Primacy of the Person: the person is sacred because he is image and likeness of God. Personcentrism, new humanization, sacralization or the person.

-Primacy of Christ: the person is ecclesialized because he follows Christ. Christcentrism, new ecclesialization, Christianization of the person.

Primacy of Love: the person is sacramentalized because he becomes a living sign of God’s Love. Lovecentrism, new evangelization, sacramentalization of the person.

The unity of all this lights forms the formative task of projection: helping to radiate.

The complete integractor looks like this:

So, this is an integractor, the structure of integraction. As you can see now, the whole integraction can be explained with the integractor. The difference between explaining integraction with the integractor and without the integractor is that if you use the integractor it is impossible to separate ecclesial integraction from human integration: both are merged. If you explain integraction without the integractor, you can explain the Christian elements of integration separated from the other elements.

When you explain integraction with the integractor it is easier to explain why integration is formed by four processes that happen at the same time, not by sequential stages or phases. That’s why integraction is a model of personal formation and not a model of human development: it intends to explain how the person becomes who he is and who is called to be; it intends to explain the personal formation. Integraction doesn’t intend to explain the stages of physical growth of human development (although that is taken in count in the organic dimension), or the psychological phases of human development (although that is taken in count in the action). You will be very disappointed if that is what you expected.

I hope this post has helped you to visualize integraction as model of personal formation and the integractor as its structure. In the near future I will write another post about integractive education.

Let’s keep growing!

The Origins of the Integractor

We are in the spring break, so I will write about something that I wouldn’t have the time to write about during school time, as I usually do during Sunday’s posts. Today I will write about the integractor, the structure of integration that is made with Tinker Toys. How the integractor was conceived? It has a story.

For those who need an image of an integractor, here is one:

How the idea of designing and building an integractor began? In the moment that I conceived this Tinker Toy structure I was studying in two faculties: in an ecclesiastical faculty of philosophy and in a graduate faculty of philosophy. In the ecclesiastical faculty of philosophy the focus was Saint Thomas Aquinas. In the graduate faculty of philosophy the focus was Charles S. Peirce. I wanted to integrate, somehow, the thoughts of both philosophers in a single visual structure. Those who know these two philosophers know that thomist thoughts and pragmatic thoughts can’t be easily merged, besides their curious tendency of using trychotomies (as a matter of fact, many philosophers use trychotomies, Aquinas and Peirce are not the only ones).

I integrated thoughts of both philosophers by creating a Tinker Toy robot called “Charlie.” Charlie moved with a control remote, it was not a completely independent machine. He had two kinds of movements: the external movements and the internal movements. The internal movements were independent from the remote control, but the external movements depended on the remote control. That was my way of explaining the two kinds of movements of human beings: the “inside” movements and the “physical” movements. The movement I was focusing on for my graduate thesis, that was about creating a philosophy of education based on the philosophy of Peirce, was the “inside” movements. However, action by its own is worthless. It needs a three-dimensional structure to sustain it. Later on I would observe and discover that action can’t be and end by itself neither; humans do no act with the aim of solely acting, human actions, besides an integration, also have a realization and a projection.

How did Charlie united thoughts of Charles S. Peirce and Saint Thomas Aquinas? The tridimensional external structure of Charlie (the triangles) was inspired by the trascendentals of Saint Thomas Aquinas, that later evolved and become the seven properties of every being (ens, res, etc.). I later integrated to those first seven properties the seven properties of every living being, that I learned in a graduate neuroscience class where we studied a real brain. These properties did not caught my attention in the class, where I was focused on studying the human brain. It was later on that this information made “click” on me while thinking the integraction, that initially had only three processes (integration, action and realization), not four.

The thought of Charles S. Peirce was integrated in the three moving crosses inside Charlie. Peirce talks about firstness, secondness and thirdness. That’s why I built three crosses inside Charlie’s tridimensional body: one for firstness (essentially monadic), one for secondness (essentially dyadic) and one for thirdness (essentially monadic). They were not meant to be moved at the same time, that came later on, with the idea of unity and coherence.

I did not used Charlie for my graduate thesis project very long. Someone told me that students do not come to philosophy graduate school to play with toys, I got discouraged and never brought it to the graduate faculty of philosophy. Sadly, I had to destroy Charlie myself because I couldn’t move back to Puerto Rico with it, I didn’t had enough space. I trashed all those materials prior traveling so they didn’t become excess weight in my baggage.

Later, when I chose to design a personal formation model, I rebuilt again what I destroyed with new materials, but I did not rebuilt it as a robot (I did not had the materials for doing that), but simply as a Tinker Toy structure. As the time passed by, the search for meaning of the Tinker Toy’s structure became more contemplative. That means that I began to pray how to build a personal formation model inspired in the Trinity and in the commandment of Love. In other words: I used the same Tinker Toy structure that I used for building Charlie, but now for building a new personal formation model. That way the integractor was conceived: as a structure for a new personal formation model. The model came after contemplating the integractor in prayer and in ordinary life, applying both reason and faith while observing human nature to define better all the processes.

By the way, the seven principles of humanization were added to the properties of the integractor later on, in a social ethics class. That completed the three dimensions of human personal formation. These three dimensions were the first elements of integraction that were concreted.

At the beginning, I couldn’t study integraction without using the integractor. Now I can explain integraction without using the integractor, but by writing only. For explaining it orally I still need to play a little bit with the integractor in order to remember all the terms that I know (I don’t know everything by memory yet). When I brought the integractor to the schools kids loved playing with it! Of course, I didn’t explained to them what it was for me, I just let them use it as a toy. Moving the three crosses at the same time requires an excellent two-hands coordination!

How integraction was inspired by the Holy Trinity? I think I have never explained it before. I have explained how integraction is inspired in the Commandment of Love, but not how it is inspired by the Holy Trinity. It would seem like the three crosses are inspired by the Trinity, but as I explained before, that was inspired by Peirce. The Trinitarian inspiration is in the processes’ conception, not in the integractor’s conception. Integration is inspired in the Father’s role. Action is inspired in the Son’s role. Realization is inspired in the Holy Spirit’s role. Projection is inspired in the Trinity’s role, it integrates the three roles. I know that creating a personal formation model that is faith-inspired can be conflictive to some, but integraction can also be founded with theories of the three integractive faculties: the Faculty of Social Sciences, the Faculty of Humanities and the Faculty of Education. I have studied in two of those faculties academically, in Education and in Humanities, and has studied classes of the other faculty, Social Sciences, although not as many as in the other two faculties. I had thought about taking a psychological theories of personality course many times, but the fact that I am a twice-exceptional student has refrained me from doing so. Those courses tend to be evaluated mostly by memory-based assessment, and I usually have problems with passing a class whose assessment relies more than 30% on memorization. There is no reasonable accommodation that substitutes the memory-based assessment, I must adapt to whichever assessment the professors choose.

Another question. Why I built a robot for studying something like philosophy? This is also related to being a twice- exceptional student. I did it because I am a visual learner. Visualizing, somehow, the ideas of these two philosophers helped me to integrate information about their thought. “Building ideas” also helps me to keep inquiring. “Never block the way to inquiry,” Peirce says. At the very end, the integractor did retained something from Peirce: the criteria of the emissions (primacy of the good, primacy of the right and primacy of the true) is inspired in the three Peircean normatives (the good, the right and the true).

This is all I have to say about the origins of the integractor. In the next post, I will explain the parts of the integractor as the structure of integraction.

Let’s keep growing!

My Graduate School Admission Essay

I plan to finish my studies leading to my certification as elementary ESL teacher at June 2018. After that, the plan is to get a job during the days and to study a master’s degree during the nights. I am eager to begin working, I do not see myself studying full time more time beyond the necessary. I am currently requesting admission to the graduate program of the Faculty of Education at the University of Puerto Rico, Río Piedras campus. I am interested in studying a master in Differentiated Education. I think it is a good combination with the ESL certification and with my interest in personal-formation based learning. I want to study at UPRRP because they have a very good institutional support system for the reasonable accommodations.

In order to request admission to that program they require a few things: completing the admission’s form with two recommendation letters, the EXADEP or the GRE (the graduate admissions test), a bachelor’s degree, a minimum of 3.00 undergraduate GPA (that is proved by sending two transcripts) and an admission’s essay.

I began the admission’s process with the two recommendation letters. I requested a recommendation letter to my pre-practicum teacher and another one to my practicum supervisor professor in December, so that part was easy to complete.

What about doing the EXAPEP or the GRE? I could do the GRE in English but I chose to do the EXADEP in Spanish for the simply reason that it was cheaper than the GRE and I needed no reasonable accommodation for doing the EXADEP (it did not had any handwritten part or any written part that needs extra time to complete). These are my EXADEP scores:

EXADEP

Considering that the graduate program I am requesting to be admitted does not require a minimum score (some graduate programs in the same faculty and in the UPR require an EXADEP minimum score of 500), 667 is a very good score, specially the English score, where I got a 75. The maximum score per part is 80. I expected a lower score in math and analytic reasoning not because a lack of analytical reasoning but because I have not studied math since high school and I could not pay a review for taking this test, as I did for the PCMAS (the teacher certification test). It was my lower score indeed, but it was higher than the expected score if I considered my circumstances with maths (I had never liked math a lot and I had never been good at them neither).

The undergraduate GPA of my Humanities bachelor’s degree was 2.90 when I graduated, but that was before taking all my ESL teacher certification classes, where I have got all A’s except for one B in a Humanities literature class (that profesor was too memory-based, his assessment was based in asking very small details of our readings in a multiple-choice test, without any discussion of the literature work; that’s why I got a B in an elective class). With all the A’s I got in the ESL teacher certification program, surely that GPA got above 3.00, so I had no problems with that requirement neither. I sent my two transcripts without hesitation. Although I have not checker exactly where my GPA is, I assume that it is above the 3.00 minimum GPA. I will request a student transcript and check that out soon.

Finally, I needed to write an admissions essay. This part delayed the completion of my graduate school admissions forms during weeks, since the lasts weeks of December to be more exact. I had an idea of what things I wanted to write, but the instruction of doing it in only 500 words requires time and patience from my part, because I tend to use a lot of words and integrate many diverse ideas when I write essays. I finally chose which ideas and details I wanted to include and completed my essay a few days ago, using exactly 500 words. I focused it on my research interests, my professional interests and on personal perspectives pertinent to the studies I wanted to pursue.

My graduate admissions essay is this one (in Spanish):

¿Por qué me interesa completar una maestría en educación diferenciada e investigar el cómo aplicar el Project Based Learning (PBL) en la educación diferenciada? Hay al menos tres razones: una personal, una académica y una profesional.

La razón personal para querer investigar la aplicación del PBL en la educación diferencida es que yo misma soy una estudiante excepcional. De hecho, soy twice-exceptional: tengo ADD y también soy gifted (Mi IQ es de 140). Sé en carne propia las dificultades que puede confrontar un estudiante excepcional a la hora de aprender: el aburrimiento feroz ante un trabajo que no requiera aplicar, la profunda impotencia por no poder hacer las cosas como los demás, la gran frustración que provoca confrontar el que un maestro piense que eres “bruta” el mero hecho de no ser aprender según su método… Todo esto lo he vivido en carne propia. Estoy determinada a encontrar métodos que ayuden a la población excepcional a aprender de manera más integractiva. El concepto de “educación integractiva” me lo inventé yo. El término “integractivo” une los vocablos “integración”, “acción” y “realización”. Esas tres palabras me parecen fundamentales para estudiar la educación diferenciada de tal forma que abarque la totalidad de la formación personal. La formación personal es importante para mí porque pienso que lo que más caracteriza a la educación diferenciada es que necesariamente se aplica a la persona, cosa que debería ser una meta para toda educación, no solo la diferenciada.

La razón académica, intrínsecamente unida a la razón personal, para querer investigar la aplicación del PBL en la educación diferenciada es que es un tema que necesita ser investigado. Al buscar respecto al tema solo encontré, y con mucho esfuerzo, dos artículos en inglés. No hay un solo libro en Amazon respecto al tema. Así pues, este tema es uno en el que puedo hacer una aportación académica relevante. Si bien es cierto que hay muy pocas referencias de este tema en las bases de datos disponibles en la biblioteca de la UPR, hay algunos artículos que pueden dar luz respecto a cómo conseguir más referencias en otras bases de datos. Además, la maestría de educación especial provee la oportunidad de hacer un action research, pues tiene una práctica integrada, por lo que hay otros medios para investigar el tema.

Finalmente, la razón profesional para querer estudiar este tema es que actualmente el PBL se está aplicando con muchísima más asiduidad en Puerto Rico. Como maestra me interesa dominar el PBL para poder aplicarlo oportunamente en mi salón de clase cuando me toque impartir clases. Aunque mi certificación docente actual sea en inglés elemental, al aprender a aplicar el PBL en la educación diferenciada también aprenderé a aplicarlo como maestra de inglés, por lo que estudiarlo en mis estudios universitarios graduados será de muchísimo provecho en mi quehacer profesional. Así pues, al estudiar este tema no solo podría hacer una aportación académica relevante en el campo de la educación diferenciada, sino también en el campo de la educación puertorriqueña.

I had no space to mention that I also have dysgraphia and problems with handwritting (I thought about leaving the IQ part out, so I could have space to mention the dysgraphia, but usually persons ask themselves what I mean when I describe myself as “gifted”, so I left the IQ information there because is the shorter way, although not my favorite way, to describe what I mean when I use the word “gifted”) or to make reference of this blog to look for further information about me. It had a small but clearly visible typo too, in the beginning of the second paragraph (I saw that typo when I copy-pasted the essay here).

Once I completed this essay my admission’s form was ready to be sent to the graduate admission’s department. I completed the whole graduate admission’s form a few days ago.

Let’s see what happens with this admission request, and let’s keep growing!