Dear brothers and sisters:
Here I am, among you, with complete peace: everything that has happened has been a gift to radiate God’s Love, and for that I am grateful. I would not change the opportunity of radiating this light the way I am being able to do it right now.
I am writing to you, brothers and sisters…
I am writing to you, brothers and sisters that are my you progenitors, my biological sisters and all my biological family relatives… I am writing to you, doctor sister to who I asked to come with me to the FBI to denounce what was happening, and still chose to do nothing and even to collaborate with my progenitors…
I am writing to you, brothers and sisters, people of the parish were I have grown up, including its priests and the archbishops that placed them there in the first place. I am writing to you, brothers and sisters of the many parishes I have visited…
I am writing to you, brother city mayor of Toa Alta, that was present in the last celebration of the Divine Mercy that I went in my parish, so publicly shown to everyone by the priests as a “friend of the parish”…
I am writing to you, brothers and sisters resident doctors, doctors and even head of the psychiatric department of the RCM of the UPR that created a whole program called “Por Ti” with the image of the Santiago’s Way arrow to support my progenitor’s views and never questioned their version, but disorientated mine once and once again… This program included doctoral psychology students of the Carlos Albizu University, like one of the priests of my parish, that also studied there while being priest in my parish…
I am writing to you, brothers judges that believed my progenitors without even giving me the chance to give my version to courts, without doing a simple welfare check…
I am writing to you, brothers and sisters of the Justice Department that doesn’t give to people like me a free lawyer to be able to defend myself ––I was told that to be given a free lawyer the income that is used to calculate the qualification is the home income (my progenitors’ income), not my own income––. I am writing to you, brothers and sisters of the court of Bayamon, that when I finally dared to choose to take action against my progenitors, I was told that it was not possible and that there was no place I could go…
I am writing to you, brothers and sisters of the Department of Health that gave my progenitors the power to subscribe me in Medicaid without my consent, so paying for the hospitalizations they forced… never questioning, a single time, how there could be so many forced hospitalizations, if something wrong could be happening…
I am writing to you, brothers and sisters of the Department of Education that created a teacher certification test with such instructions that was impossible to get a perfect score because the instructions made it impossible… I am talking to you, brothers and sisters of the Department of Education that created a huge mural of Star Wars in the office were I went to complete the process of my teaching certification… I am talking to you, employees of the Department of Education that had been in my classroom, witnessing and collaborating directly with my student’s exploitation.
I am writing to you, brother state policeman that went to my house and did not give me even the time to prepare properly to leave… I am talking to you, brother municipal police that when I went to denounce my progenitors said that there was no way to prove that… I am talking to you, brother of Miami Police that told me, when I went once again to try to stop what My progenitors were doing, that I just needed to “take my medicines…”. I am writing to you, brothers of the municipal police that came to the school where I had been trafficking to give a “bullying conference…”
I am writing to you, brothers and sisters in all the hospitals I had been hospitalized by force: Hospital Panamericano, Hospital Pavia, Hospital de la UPR Carolina. In each one I was drugged by force. Each one chose to believe my progenitors and not me, leaving me trembling and dizzy with medicines that I did not chose, needed or wanted, even telling me that all those effects were needed… and even making me to believe I was truly sick, making me to believe that my progenitors were “good parents” taking care of their daughter, forcing me to see them while hospitalized and informing them about my treatments when I explicitly said I did not want them to be informed.
I am writing to you, brothers and neighbors that have made me believe so many times so many wrong things, neighbors that are capable of exploiting your children for exploiting me… Neighbors that for so many years have been making artificial rooster sounds around my house at all hours of the day and night, that have forced to hear the music I hate so many times and that had been capable of explicitly torture me with sleep deprivation…
I am writing to you, brothers and sisters professors, students and employees of the University of Puerto Rico, Río Piedras campus that also disorientated me once and once again…
I am writing to you, brothers and sister of the Universidad Central de Bayamón that tried to impose me a Marxist theology of liberation and created an unnecessary economic burden for years…
I am writing to you, brothers and sisters that were old classmates and teachers of the school where I studied during my school years, the place where the idea of creating a Jesus Charity, a Iesu Amor, began ––the name of the school is “Holy Family”, it is a very curious way to live the Word–– people that I once called friends, but also chose to disorientate me once and once again…
I am talking to you, brothers and sister slow drivers that are in front of me literally everyday, usually around four cars per way (from and to whatever I am going), but sometimes they have been up to ten (sometimes a single car in front of me, sometimes three or two at the same time, so I can’t go by the side so easily…)
I am writing to you, brothers and sisters people in several places of San Juan ––Hospital Auxilio Mutuo, the train, the cafeteria where I buy coffee some mornings–– that also chose to disorientate me once and once again…
I talk to you, brothers and sisters employees of so many public places and stores that have coughed exaggeratedly loudly, while I was around, that had greeted me with a “lindo día” o called me “amor”, or even gave me food that caused me several secondary effects…
I am talking to you, the so many brothers and sisters that have used all kind of objects and sounds, repeating then in all kind of places, to try to create a feeling of social control: walking sticks, Puerto Rican flags, wheelchairs, bumper stickers, coughs, regueton, the “lindo día” greeting…
I am writing to you, sister psychologist of APS Bayamón that told me that I must complete treatment forced by my progenitors to obey the law, and when I talked about the abuse that my progenitors were doing––saying explicitly that they threatened me with denying me money for food, money, and the used of internet–– just commented that it must be a hard situation, not making a single move to contact the Department of Family to denounce the situation, assuming that the abuse was a normal situation or simply not believing that it was abuse.
I am writing to you, brother psychiatrist of APS Bayamon that medicated me because “I needed to get out home” when I explicitly told that the reason I was not going out as because I had no money to do so, and that issue was not resolved with any medicine… but still gave the medicine.
I am writing to you, sister psychiatrist of the partial hospitalization of Hospital Pavia that without even knowing me insisted in telling me that I was bipolar, without even hear and believe what I told, telling me that were a lot of brilliant people that were bipolar, like Pedro Roselló, a gross violation to the code of ethics of any doctor: you can’t disclose medical information of others, or diagnose public figures that are not your patients.
I am writing to you, brother psychologist of the partial hospitalization of the Pavia Hospital that told me to create a resume and also told me the job search pages that made possible to find the employment where I had been exploited through all those months, many of them without even being conscious of being trafficked.
Finally, I am talking to all the brothers and sisters in the school where I had been working during these last months ––to teachers, para-educators, cleaning service employees, parents, administrative staff–– were students ––living innocent human beings, most of them with some kind of disability, some without even being able to be conscious of what they were doing due the severity of their disability–– have been used to exploit me and to disorientate me once and once again, besides entering staff meetings and all kind of school activities in making more exploitation options…
Yes, I am also writing to you, boss that coughed in front of my classroom while I wrote this.
Believe me, brother boss, the peace and the gratefulness that moves me to write these words is beyond the reach of your coughs, that had been many in these lasts days.
I am writing to all you, all brothers and sisters that have trafficked me through all these years…
I am writing to you all, beloved brothers and sisters that have human trafficked me during all these years…
I have mentioned this not to humiliate you, but to show what I am conscious of, and that I still am peaceful and grateful for everything.
We all know I can mention many more things, but I don’t need to, because you are forgiven.
Yes, you are all forgiven. At least by me, although I also recommend you seek God’s forgiveness. For a Catholic, this means going to confession… with a priest that is faithful to the Church.
Truly, you really are. Feel yourself free of any guilt, if you have any.
Let’s be straight with this: God never wants violence, human trafficking or anything that breaks communion, fraternity, and peace. God is a God of Love.
I can’t say God wanted all this, that I, frankly, have no idea of how it could have happened. What I can say is: God has used all this for His glory, to radiate His Love in a way that overpowers the capacity of any of us, including mine.
What I can say is that God has used this from the very right beginning to radiate His Love, even when I was not conscious of the exploitation that was going on around me, and with the concealed drugs I was being given and that I had no idea about.
You, dear brothers and sisters, have been prime witnesses of all my sins and faults. You have been witnesses of how undeservedly I received the gifts I have received. This can’t be mine.
I have been converted, quite literally, in a living sign of how God loves His people and His Church, including you. Yes, God loves you in that very same way I had been loved. Everyone can be converted in this living sign of love… if we let Him do so.
This truly includes everyone. Really, truly. I will say this explicitly: this includes people that have committed all kind of crimes and sins, no matter how grave they could have been… and this also includes persons that identify themselves as LGBTT.
There is no sin he cannot heal, except the sin against the Holy Spirit: not believing that He is Love incarnated, denying His mercy, trying to project evilness as goodness and goodness as evil.
Once the fact that God doesn’t want violence and could not have ever wanted explicitly the abuse and the suffering of one of his daughters, now I can say…
Beloved brothers and sisters, we all give what we have in our hearts. The dehumanization that you have shown is so, so, so deep, that what you truly deserve is compassion, forgiveness and being treated with humanity and the Love that you so much need.
Has someone ever told you that you are loved unconditionally by God, that he takes care of you, that he is a Father and a Mother that will always embrace you and help you to grow and become who you are called to be? Believe it. Yes, you have seen it, but I don’t know if you have chosen to believe it. Yes, this includes you, dear boss that just coughed besides my classroom while I write this.
Has someone ever told you that you have been created to be the best person you can be, to become the person that you are called to be? Has someone ever told you that you are not for sale, that you don’t have a price tag, that you are not an object to be trafficked, to be used to transmit ideologies––no matter if it is the ideology of gender, nationalism, socialism…–– or any other purpose, whatever it is?
Has someone ever told you that you are created to greatness: the greatness to humbly serve others and help them to grow in communion and become who they are called to be, the greatness of contemplating others as brothers and sisters called to radiate and be living stars, creating a humanity that is a land of light? Yes, this includes you, dear boss that insists on coughing, now in front of my classroom. I will consider the cough your way to tell me that you are listening to me. J I would prefer if the drooling and whatever is affecting my throat in this very moment stops, but I am happy with your coughing, just as you did right now again. Keep listening.
Has someone ever told you that you are allowed to have beautiful dreams, dreams that do not only serve yourself but also serve the common good, dreams that make a better culture, a better nation, a better society, a better humanity? If you don’t have that kind of dreams, something is wrong. Really. Not being able to dream great dreams, dreams that surpass ourselves, is a human tragedy. We all need big and beautiful dreams. That is something very human, as human as growing in communion.
Has someone ever told you that you are amazing human beings, capable of doing good, capable of making a positive difference in our culture, in our nation, in our society? Has someone ever told you ––yes, including you, dear mentor teacher that just coughed in front of my classroom–– that you don’t need to be terrorist to be someone in life, that you can be someone by doing good, by working hard––legally and ethically–– in the service of a better world for all?
Has someone ever told you that you just need to be yourself to be part of a family? Has someone ever told you that you don’t need to be a false persona to be part of the family that you are called to belong? Has someone ever told you that a true family accepts you as who you are and helps you to grow unconditionally? Has someone ever told that we all are capable to be the family that we are called to become: a family that helps to grow in communion?
Has someone ever told you that you can be a nation of Love that grows in communion, that you can be a citizen of light, that you can be a citizen that help your people and your nation to grow in communion, that you can create unity instead of division, that you can create fraternity and bridges among cultures instead of ideological walls? Has someone ever told you that you can create peace instead of creating violence?
Has someone ever told you that you can build a society of peace, fraternity, joy, and unity in diversity, where everyone can have their own ideas and be respected as a human being and grow as an equal, free, and loved brother and sister, no matter what? I will tell you what the name of that. It is called democracy. Every citizen is called to be part of it, you too, if you stop dehumanizing yourselves. Has someone ever told you that committing, allowing or consenting violations of human right ––no matter the reason–– is no possible way to be a democratic society, or even a human society, founded upon the rule of law and the rule of Love, and not upon the rule of the strongest, like animals?
Has someone ever told you, beloved brothers and sisters… that you are brothers and sisters! Yes, you are! You don’t need to live in the darkness of no-fraternity (the light of my classroom just blinked), of dehumanization, of fratricide… You can grow as a brother and a sister, you can grow in the light, as a shining star that help others to grow as the brother and sister that they are called to be, including you, beloved boss, that coughed again besides my classroom. You don’t need to create darkness to shine. You don’t need to exploit anyone, including the student with “psychosis” that just passed screaming in front of my classroom, but, most importantly: you don’t need to exploit yourselves, you don’t need to live as a slave, denying yourself the life you are called to live, denying yourselves the freedom of being, simply, yourselves. You can shine and be a light just by being yourselves and becoming who you are called to be, by becoming the best person you can be. This includes you, dear brother and sister that caused the sound of an ambulance siren outside when I wrote this. No one needs to create darkness to shine and live as the brother or sister that you are called to be.
Has someone ever told you that God is Love, that God is Charity, that God is Light, that God is Life, that God is communion? Has someone ever told you that His Church can’t be built by denying this truth? The same way there can’t be a democratic society where violations of human rights are happening and the person is deformed, there can’t be a living Church were fraternity, communion, and unity is broken and God is deformed with ideologies and abuses. Has someone ever told you that the Church’s Mission is radiating God’s Love, making that love visible to the whole of humanity? God is not an abuser. God is not a terrorist. God is not an exploiter or a human trafficker. God doesn’t impose ideologies. God, dear brothers and sisters, is Love that wants to be loved and adored with our whole growth, including by you, dear boss, that entered to my classroom to bring a permission to drink water that my student left outside the classroom and then coughed when you got out of the classroom… (You may see what I mean with “permission to drink water” in the picture at the end: is a laminated cardboard that says “agua”, “water” in Spanish; the students need a permission to go whatever they go, including to drink water. These kinds of distractions have been constant through the whole year, they just interrupt briefly what I am focusing on). Adoring God with the whole growth is becoming who He calls us to be and help our brothers and sisters to become who they are called to be. Adoring God with the whole growth is becoming the living sign of God’s Love that He calls us to be, the living star of Heaven that He calls us to be, to radiate the light of His light in every here and every now, in every circumstance, including dehumanization. I would dare to say: especially in dehumanization, like happened just happened right now, when two students were exploited, including one with Down Syndrome.
Has someone ever told you that life is an amazing journey when you walk with God, that you don’t need to beg for the love or attention of anyone? Has someone ever told you that life is an amazing gift that we are all capable of share? Have you ever had the amazing opportunity of living so, so, so focused on the great gifts that you had been given to share that you simply have no time to lose in anything that is not sharing those gifts, in anything that is not radiating God’s Love?
Has someone ever told you that you can become a great, living work of God’s Love, that you can be a living revelation of His Love? Has someone ever told you that you don’t need to conform with false gods, with false loves, with false lives, with falsified realities, with corruption and iniquity? Has someone has ever told you that you can choose to be the positive change that the world needs to become the best humanity we can be, together? Yes, brothers and sisters, together. We can have different visions and walk together to the same horizon: helping to grow in communion, growing as brothers and sisters.
Finally, beloved and sisters… has someone ever told you that you have the sacred right and the sacred responsibility of being happy and of sharing that happiness? The Declaration of Independence of our Nation says: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
I affirm the same, as the declaration of a Nueva Patria were our people and our Nation walk together with a new unity: being consecrated to charity, to help to grow in communion, to make possible that everyone grows as a brother and a sister.
Call this a declaration of a new fraternity, if you want to. The time of violations of human rights is over. It is time to begin a new page in our history, to begin to walk as brothers and sisters with equal rights, as any other citizen of our Nation, and with a new unity that doesn’t depend upon ideologies or political parties, but upon helping everyone to grow as the brother and the sister that we are all called to be… including you.
Actually, this whole letter is a declaration of a new fraternity.
If no one have told you all these things, beloved brothers and sisters, I am telling them to you right now. It is your choice, as it has always been… and let’s remember: every choice has consequences.
Think carefully about this. You have choices. If no one has told you so, I am telling you this right now: you have choices. You don’t need to choose darkness. You don’t need to choose to create darkness. You can choose light. You can choose to be light. You can choose to create light.
That has always been my choice and will be my choice during my whole life.
We all have this choice, beloved brothers and sisters. We are all given by our Creator the potential to be a great light, to shine a beautiful light that creates a constellation of light when we all walk together, helping each other to grow in communion.
Here is the most surprising fact of all, beloved brothers and sisters: when we chose to be light, God gives us the power to transform any darkness in light. When we choose light, God makes us the light. When we choose light, we become light everywhere, including when you are surrounded by the darkness of dehumanization. God has used me to transform the darkness you have created into a radiation of His light.
So, my beloved brothers and sisters, I just can only be grateful for everything, for how you have allowed me to become the light I am called to be.
Thank you, beloved brothers and sisters, for the gift of God that you have allowed me to receive. I wouldn’t be able to create this living work of art without you.
Thank you, beloved brothers and sisters, for helping me to become a living sign of God’s Love. I wouldn’t be able to embrace this call to convert to charity without your help.
Thank you, beloved brothers and sisters, because through this I have learned and received the grace to incarnate God’s Word.
Thank you, beloved brothers and sisters, because you have helped me to embrace God’s mercy in a way I wouldn’t ever imagined it could be even possible.
Thank you, beloved brothers and sisters, because this tenderness and beauty that fulfills my heart is the gift of my lifetime.
Thank you, beloved brothers and sisters, because the joy of embracing God’s Love and communicating it in the way I have been granted to do it by Him through all the abuses and violation of human rights you have committed is, simply, irrepressible.
Thank you, beloved brothers and sisters, because you have made possible a beautiful new beginning not only to me, but to our whole people and nation, that from now on will walk together, united with a new unity: the consecration of charity. This gift of embracing a new life and giving new life wouldn’t be possible without your help.
Thank you, beloved brothers and sisters, because you have made possible that I, and many more, can realize God’s dreams: being adored with our whole growth, becoming the person, the family, the culture, the nation, the society, the humanity… that we are called to be.
Thank you, beloved brothers and sisters, because you have allowed me to learn how to incarnate the Word and how to live charity as Jesus did: unconditionally.
Thank you, beloved brothers and sisters, because through this years I have discovered in His gaze so many things that I wouldn’t be able to contemplate without the grace I had been given to sanctify myself and be perfect as the Father is, giving to my life an amazing new meaning: creating home and humanity that helps to grow in communion.
Thank you, beloved brothers and sisters, because you have allowed me to discover my vocation in a way I could have not discovered it without the grace I have been given to transform your abuse into a radiation of God’s Love. I am simply amazed, literally amazed with His wonder, while seeing how much I had been loved through all these years, without even knowing it…
Thank you, beloved brothers and sisters, because you have made possible to build the living sanctuary of God’s Love that the family that is waiting for me is called to be.
Thank you, beloved brothers and sisters, because you have made possible this family evangelization project, that I contemplated without even realizing what was going on in my own house and in my own parish, as if God was telling me since the very right beginning: everything is all right, everything is part of My plan of Love for embracing the whole humanity… This includes you, dear student that are exploited right now, as I write this, as you pass screaming with a “psychotic crisis” besides my window.
Thank you, beloved brothers and sisters, because you have allowed me to radiate the Puerto Rico and the United States that we are called to be. You have allowed to radiate the Church that we are called to be. You have allowed me to radiate the humanity that we are called to be.
Thank you, beloved brothers and sisters, because you have allowed me to give a public testimony of God’s Love that I wouldn’t be able to give without your help: God is Love, God is Charity, God is communion, God is Light, God is Life, God is Truth, God is Hope… that calls all his sons and daughters to convert to charity and become who they are called to be… including, beloved brothers and sisters, you. Yes, you too, dear boss that coughed besides my classroom when I wrote this.
Thank you, beloved brothers and sisters, simply thank you… because you simply have helped me to become who I am called by God to be.
I am simply amazed, surprised, joyful, grateful for everything, smiling humbly and peacefully and trusting that God will open new ways for everyone who chooses to embrace His will.
If I could choose a song to sing, it would be the Magnificat. I can’t sing loudly right now, I have a student in my classroom… but in my heart, I am singing a symphony of light.
Truly, beloved brothers and sisters, thank you for everything. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I can only wish you happiness and big dreams fulfilled. I can only share the light I have in my heart: the light of God’s Love, the light of a declaration of a new fraternity, the light of a revolution of Love that helps everyone to grow in communion, as a brother and a sister… The light of a new dawn for everyone, including, dear brothers and sisters, you.
As I wrote this, another student was exploited in my classroom: he broke a necklace of Christmas lights that was hanging in my classroom’s door. As you may see in the picture, he can’t be the one that broke that necklace, he simply opened the door and the necklace fell broken. It was already broken by someone else, and then the student was exploited making him to fake he broke it.
I repeat, beloved brothers and sisters: if no one told you that you have the choice of being a light, I am telling you it, right now. We all can choose light. We all can be living stars in this Walk of Fraternity. If you are a Christian, you can be a living star of Heaven in this Walk of Sanctity, realizing the Creator’s dream: that everyone grows as the brother and the sister who is called to be. This includes you, dear boss, who coughed when a student came to my classroom and I told him “choose light” as my final message. This includes you, para-educator (T1) that is exploiting a second grade student by allowing her to scream in front of my classroom as I write this, when she should be outside.
We are all called to choose light, beloved brothers and sisters. We can all chose to be a light. We can all choose to help to grow in communion, to make possible that everyone can grow as a brother and as a sister…
This is what I am doing in this very right moment. No matter how much darkness you may create, how much you can cause the lights of my classroom blink, as it happened right now… The light of God’s Love is for everyone, including you.
I also repeat: I forgive you for everything, my beloved brothers and sisters. If I would need to live everything again, I would do it, just for the gift of radiating the light of God’s Love the way I am doing it. Everything has been allowed for His glory.
Let’s choose light!
Let’s keep growing!
Final note: I wrote this during my last hours with my students.
Here are the pictures of the Christmas lights necklace and the water permission that I mention in the text.